Making the move

Life has been beyond busy for the past few months. We have packed up and shipped out of Orlando and I can say that beyond the intial nervousness of another big move, there has been alot of peace since leaving.  We miss our church family, but that's about it! If I had to name one thing that I learned in the three years that we lived in the Orlando area, it would be to trust God!

The peace that goes beyond!

Me & the birthday cake! 😜

It's my birthday and it's been a really good one! My mom watched the kids while my hubby & I went to brunch & a movie...ok, so we had the baby with us but it was still a really good day!
Life has been pretty interesting in the last few months....hubby started a new job, we made a major move, and through it all (even my uncertainty) there's been a supernatural peace. I finally understand the "which surpasses all understanding" part of philippians 4:7
Sometimes we just don't "get it" but God does and he's with us always and his plan and ways are always good! In the few weeks since we moved, he's really been dealing with me on that. When the journey gets confusing or the road foggy & I just don't really understand what God is doing, he's still asking me to trust him.
When my husband first told me about this job, I was fairly certain that it wasn't the direction we were supposed to go, but the door opened so wide that there was no denying we were supposed to walk through it. It wasn't easy though! We spent 2 months only seeing hubby on the weekends and I may have fought a bit against the transition at first, but I still had peace in the direction we were heading. It looked different than the path that I believed God had us on, but even when my mind said, "but why now" or "why there?" There was the other part that said, "i'm just going to trust you anyway!" And that has been really liberating b/c the "what ifs" still pop up occassionally, but the "I will trust God" has been so much bigger this go round. How freeing it is when we actually let go & leave it in God's hands. Not just with words, but in our actions & mind too...it's when you don't have the answers and what you see looks different than what you thought, but you make the conscious decision to trust God's plan over what you thought or wanted anyway & you just go with the flow. I can't say that i've always gotten that right, but i'm learning. It sounds crazy & sometimes it looks even crazier, but to experience this peace that goes beyond all understanding in the mist of all of the craziness is worth putting your trust in God's hands.

What I'm listening to this morning!

I'm so grateful that God's mercy is new very morning!

  

Lamentations 3:22-23

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;    great is your faithfulness.

Blueberry pancakes & season changes

I can't say that when speaking of food, i'm the most adventurous person to eat with. Truthfully speaking, I tend to always get the same thing when we're out at restaurants because I don't want to pay for something that I might not like.
I generally cook the same things, buy variations of the same foods to stock in the pantry, and breakfast is typically grits with adifferent meat each day. Well, last week my mom made blueberry pancakes & bacon for breakfast and I was beyond estatic until I realized that they had blueberries in them! What's wrong with just normal, plain, original pancakes? I thought. So, i skipped pancakes & had grits with my bacon. Truthfully, i've never had pancakes any other way, but plain. Mom ended up making them again and baby girl #2 came to me and said, "mommy, you have to try these." I must have had the look that said i would decline because she looked at me pleadingly & said, "mommy, trust me! They are really good!"
I tried them and I have to admit that they were fantastic...so good that i went to the store, bought my own box, and have been cooking them every morning since. On a much deeper note, my daughters pleading reminded me of this season that seems to be changing again. We have another big move ahead and though there's peace because we prayed hard before making a decision, there has been moments where fear of what's ahead has tried to dig its ugly fangs in and cause uncertainty. In those times I remember 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 

And like my daughter I believe that God is saying, "Trust me Carla, my plan for you is really good!" So, I've surrendered all worries, fear, selfish ambitions, and even my own expectations. In this new journey I have chosen to just simply trust God!

Prayer Closet, Bedroom, Hallway...Pray Anyway!

John 10:10NIV

"10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Tonight as my husband and I watched "war room" I thought about the prayers that we've been praying lately & I must say that I loved that movie (basically any Christian movie that has been directed by the people of fireproof & courageous has my vote) especially because it dealt with real issues and dealing with them through prayer.
I can attest to trying to fight a battle in my own strength and losing big time, but once i began to pray; God turned that thing around! This move, our struggles, & the fact that my family & I are still standing is a testament to that fact.
As I have been praying for this country each new day brings another horrific crime, attack, something just plain not good if you watch the news; however, it has been so easy to see the enemy's deceit in the news articles and stories. I recently read a facebook status where the guy basically called on the body of Christ to open our eyes and see the real war that we fighting & the movie tonight made me see that again.
As I watched I thought about how I've attempted praying in my closet only to have a child or hubby interrupt, or the phone ring, or some distraction that takes me away from my "prayer closet" & I was so captivated by how organized the closets were in the movie....so much so that I almost missed the point 😊
I realized that even though my prayer life is happening outside of my closet, my prayers are growing stronger & more focused. And though I aspire to be that organized prayer warrior, God is still molding me into a warrior...a very unorganized one, but one nonetheless.
When i took my eyes and mind off of how organized in prayer the main characters were, i was able to see & appreciate the real meaning of the movie. Our battles seem like surface problems, but they are small battles in a very big war & as long as the enemy can distract us with them & have us fighting what wasn't meant for us to fight anyway then that's one less soldier in the war using our weapon of prayer & intercession against him.
Even if I never manage to get my closet as organized as they had it in the movie, even if the song "come on in the room" doesn't take on a literal meaning for me, or my closet space hinders me from praying in it...i will pray anyway! We are soldiers and this is our greatest weapon so, why not use it? No matter where we use it at.

Busy with distractions

You ever sit down to read your bible and the phone rings, or a kid screams, or your husband needs you to help him find his keys? Lately, I've felt like this has been my life for awhile! I wake up super early, hide in a closet under a pile of clothes to pray and bam! "mommy! mommy! oh, there you are! good morning!" and like that life calls me from the closet. I say this all with a bit of humor, but seriously I see the distractions and feel powerless. I think, how did my mom get it done? I know that she got it done because I have awaken with many a oil cross on my forehead! She was the queen of anointing our home when I was growing up! I've tried to keep up that pattern and still my life seems overrun with distractions.

I can't just blame it on the random interruptions either though. There's also my phone, various social media outlets, random drives here and there, and numerous other things that take me away from the most important thing! I have deactivated almost all of my accounts at one time or another, purposely left my phone off or away from my person, etc. and still.....

Last night, while thinking about the passion that you have as a new Christian I thought about how committed you are to Jesus in the beginning! You want to get to know him and you want him to get to know you! You talk to him throughout the day and listen for him. For me as time has gone on I can see that I've replaced that time with him with stuff. As I think on it more, It reminds me of other relationships whether friendships or marriages, have I done the same thing? I don't think so, so why do that with God? I think because i know that he loves me and I know that his grace and mercy is abundant I have taken our relationship forgranted, but today! here and now I ask for that passion to reignite! More than ever as Christians we need to be on fire in a world that is so purposely trying to dim our light! So, I pray that we all find the time, the strength, the courage to rest in God's presence! I have been a mom and student before and there were times when i would start an assignment only to have to stop to finish dinner, kiss a boo-boo, read a book, etc. but the assignment still got done! If i had to stay up all night to finish it, i did. If i had to go to the library to get it done, i did. So as i think about this, I realize that despite the distractions it still has to get done. This post has been more for me than anyone else; however, I hope that in it you will find encouragement and if you're like me and distractions or life has gotten in the way of your time with God may you find the strength to take a stand against them today!

Send me i'll go (unless it's uncomfortable)

No graphics or pretty pics tonight, just my heart! This has truly been a season of stretching (pulling, tugging, rolling....you get the picture) and as uncomfortable and sometimes painful as it's been I can't dismiss that I've felt the presence of the Lord at every turn. I have complained and wanted to turn back more often than I can count and i'll be the first to admit that I don't foresee feeling truly comfortable in my new surroundings. As I was writing in my journal and "attempting" to get into the word this morning I thought of how difficult this journey has been for me. To some and sometimes even to me, my "problems" seem so microscopic compared to some of the problems that other people face, yet they feel so humongous at the time that i'm going through them. As I was writing I realized that i'm most uncomfortable when i'm being prodded and poked and every uncomfortable poke has resulted into something wonderful and for every painful prod, I've been forced to move on to dreams and goals from the past and even new ones. From an early age I knew what I wanted to be and though I immediately started working on it out of high school, I've had many delays yet I know that it will eventually come to pass because it's something that was spoken over my life and that I've prayed about since I was eleven and if I know nothing else, I know that even when God doesn't move in our timing his promises never go unfounded. So, while I was journaling I thought about how often I've said, "Lord, send me, i'll go" and as I've pondered that I've had to question whether i truly mean it? I mean I have constantly said and thought how great it would be to be a missionary family where my children would get to see how different and similar others live, how fortunate we are in our country, and how much God truly loves all of his children. I think that being a missionary is one of the greatest faith builders that any Christian could go through, but here I am a few cities away from where we began raising our family and shamefully i feel displaced, angry at the differences between the two cities, judgmental of the people, and so unlike my "glass half full" self. In my moment of self reflection I've realized that I've been willing to go where i'm comfortable, Jonah much? and where I've been uncomfortable, i can't say that I've been the picture of Jesus...Thank you Lord for grace! This journey so far has not only been uncomfortable and enlightening, but also a journey of maturity. In places where I've previously felt mature, I am having to re-examine and let God work through them. I've had to question who I am as a woman, wife, and mother of God when everything isn't roses. Mostly I've had to acknowledge that I am just now finding out what it means to truly trust God, that "use me" or "send me" is NOT for the faint of heart and trusting him truly means trusting him because you won't always see the road clearly. Throughout this journey I am seeing the word in action because I can truly say that God has never left me or forsaken me even when i've wanted to throw up the white flag, tuck my tail in, and run all the way back to my comfortable spot! I don't quite know where God is leading my family, but I am determined to get out of and stay out of his way and follow him!